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Katrina, New Orleans 2005-8-31 
 
 
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Katrina Damage Assessment and Outages 2005-9-6
 
 

Monday, January 24, 2005

THE YEAR'S BEST
[ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2004

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]


Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]


Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]


War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]


Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger
Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken!]


Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed needy
[That was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]


And the winner is....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[nuff said!]



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