They wish they hadn't said that
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband andthree kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around
and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn't say a word..... he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds
of golfballs. I was unhappy with the women's type I
had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I
was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I
like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we
were looking at the display case, the boy behind the
counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to
laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has
never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I
was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving
looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right
now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening
after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last
of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me were screams of laughter.
5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
with potty training and I was on him constantly. One
day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that
3-year old Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No."
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are
you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he
replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked
one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent
over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S
JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for
the best laugh they'd ever had!
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for
2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who
will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get
any....a true story...
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches
you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were
laughing so hard!
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posted by Webfairy at 1/09/2005 10:39:00 AM
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