Things to Ponder in 2005
For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity.... and who really don't want to work this morning...1. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
2. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Ever seen one in the between stage??
3. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the Bad girls live.
4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the Self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
5. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
6. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
7. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
8. Is there another word for synonym?
9. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
10. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
11. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
13. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
14. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
15. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
16. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
17. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
18. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
19. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
20. How is it possible to have a civil war?
21. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
22. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
23. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
24. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
25. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
26. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
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posted by Webfairy at 2/05/2005 11:24:00 AM
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